WELCOME TO THE COMMUNITY YOU'VE BEEN CRAVING
Do you ever find yourself feeling lonely or out of place in the "gay scene?"
IF YOU'RE REALLY HONEST...
Do you ever get frustrated with the kinds of guys you meet in the bars or on the dating or hookup apps?
Do you want to grow into a better version of yourself... but know you're more likely to follow through with someone walking alongside you?
"For over a decade, I was feeling ALL of these things, and I was frustrated that there seemed to be so few options for meeting other gay guys like me.
I wanted more than just a hookup. I wanted to have gay friends with whom I could be my real, unedited self - without the fear of being criticized or judged."
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—Matt Moran, founder
"I thought, what if there was a place where I could easily meet and engage with other gay guys who value the things that I value? Things like honesty, kindness, authenticity, and a desire to learn and grow.
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I couldn't seem to find a place like that, so I decided to create one."
ENTER
GAY MEN'S COLLECTIVE
Introduction from Matt
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We are a genuinely WELCOMING ONLINE COMMUNITY for gay men who are desiring AUTHENTIC FRIENDSHIPS, CONNECTION, and SUPPORT.
Via uniquely interactive Zoom meetups, livestream panels, Q&A sessions, videos, interviews and virtual hangs, we interact regularly...swapping STORIES, EXPERIENCES, and LEARNINGS
Our top priority is creating a space where everyone feels SEEN, SUPPORTED, and CHEERED ON as they journey towards their best selves.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Are your meetups all online?
Yes, we meet Sunday and Thursday evenings on Zoom to have the conversations that actually matter... the ones about gay culture, mental health, dating, relationships, and everything in between. No agenda. No presentations. Just real people sharing stories, supporting each other, and building friendships that go beyond the screen.
Another Zoom meeting? Really?
Yeah, we know. Zoom fatigue is real. But here's the trade-off: meeting online means you're not limited to the guys in your town. You get to connect with people from all over the world who actually share your experience, your questions, your struggles.
And here's what keeps happening: guys meet in the group, start connecting outside of it—texting, video calls, eventually meeting up in person when they're in the same place. The group is the spark. The friendships go from there.
Can I join the community anonymously if I prefer not to use my real identity?
Absolutely. One of the goals of this community is for members to feel supported wherever they are on their path regarding identity, coming out, etc. All that to say, joining anonymously is perfectly fine.
Is there a code of conduct or community guidelines I should be aware of?
Definitely. This community is designed to be a genuinely safe place for everyone (something that is often sorely missing in “gay world”), so we require that members be aware of and abide by certain guidelines when engaging with others. We review those guidelines together at the start of every meetup.
What if I meet someone who I’m interested in romantically?
That’d be awesome! And while this group isn’t meant to serve as a “dating site,” per se, it’s designed in a way that allows you to engage in real time interactive live streams with other members. And if you and another member decide to connect outside of the meetup...GREAT!
Can I join if I live in a country other than the U.S.?
Absolutely. We have had folks join us from Europe, Australia, South America, and Asia.
If I show up to an interactive meetup, will I be required to talk?
No…not at all. A lot of guys enjoy showing up and just listening, which is absolutely okay.
Is there a cost, or a membership of some kind?
No cost. No membership. No expectations. You're welcome to come every week, or just drop in when you need it. Some of the most meaningful conversations happen when someone shows up after a rough week just needing to feel seen and heard. That's exactly what we're here for.
Can I connect with members outside of the community platform?
Totally. In fact, we hope you do!
Anything else I should know?
One important thing: We talk openly about our sexual lives here... but in thoughtful, meaningful ways, which means no sexual banter or innuendo is permitted. We're not anti-sex or anti-fun.There are lots of spaces in gay culture for banter and innuendo. This just isn't one of them. We want this to be a place where you can talk openly about sex, relationships, and everything else without being sexualized or having something serious turned into a punchline.
MORE QUESTIONS?
Email matt@gaymenscollective.com
We meet on Zoom on the first and third Sundays of each month at 7:00 p.m. Central Time. Link is emailed an hour before we meet.
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Gay Men's Collective Agreements
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By taking part in a Zoom meetup, we agree to the following...
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We are here to foster meaningful connection, growth, and thoughtful conversation among gay men. Our goal is not to impress, debate, fix, or perform. Our goal is to connect.
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We listen to understand, not to respond.
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We allow others to feel heard rather than fixed. We don't interrupt, offer unsolicited advice, or engage in crosstalk. When someone is sharing, we hold space for them without making their experience about us.
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We speak from our own experience. We use "I" language to own our thoughts, feelings, and perspectives rather than generalizing about others or about gay men as a whole.
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We respect confidentiality. What is shared here stays here.​
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We agree to stay present. We minimize distractions, silence notifications, and give this space our full attention.
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We keep conversations thoughtful and intentional. Sex and dating are valid, important, and welcome topics here... this is a space where those conversations can and should happen openly and without shame. What we ask is that we keep it respectful and relational rather than objectifying or performative. Comments or banter that reduce someone to a body or make others feel unsafe don't serve the kind of depth we're going for. Real talk about sex? Absolutely. Locker room talk? Not here.
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We approach one another with curiosity rather than judgment... and we assume good intent. When something lands in a way that stings, we start from the belief that the person who said it was doing their best, not trying to harm us.
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We recognize the difference between feeling unsafe and feeling uncomfortable. Discomfort is often a sign that something meaningful is happening. Genuine unsafety... feeling threatened, targeted, or violated... is something we take seriously and address directly. We don't confuse the two, and we don't use one as a shield against the other.
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We make room for different lived experiences, political views, body types, backgrounds, and identities within our shared experience as gay men.
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We take responsibility for our own triggers and reactions. If something lands hard, we pause, breathe, and respond thoughtfully rather than reactively.
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We are mindful of how much space we take up... and we intentionally create room for voices that haven't yet been heard. No one is ever required to speak. If a question comes your way and you're not ready or simply don't want to answer it, "pass" is always a complete and respected response.
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We are here to grow. Growth can feel uncomfortable. We agree to stay open to that discomfort when it serves deeper understanding.
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We understand that we are free to leave the meetup at any time, and for any reason.
Above all, we show up as humans... imperfect, thoughtful, evolving... committed to building friendships that go beyond the surface.